Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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