We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
