just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
