He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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