She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
