Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
