I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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