It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
