Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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