Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
