The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
