why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
