Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
