Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
