I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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