Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i came on her dog
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
