i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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