in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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