he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
