when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
