i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
