i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
