I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
