11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
