If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
so much tequila, so little girl.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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