my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
