You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If I die, sorry about rent.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
