Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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