Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
