Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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