the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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