Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
