I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
