I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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