I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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