I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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