I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
