where am i from again
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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