Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
