no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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