omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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