O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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