And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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