"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
