Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
