It's like God shit irony all over that family
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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