i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
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