I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
