im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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