It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
