you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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