I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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