Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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